From The Chaplain's Wife

2. HOW

What Kind of Joy

By: Steven Curtis Chapman

Anybody in their right mind
Would've given up their preaching and headed for home
They've been warned a hundred times
But something inside them keeps giving them hope
And just when you think they'd be crying
Instead of the tears, there's joy in their eyes

[Chorus 1:]
What kind of joy is this
That counts it a blessing to suffer
What kind of joy is this
That gives the prisoner his song
What kind of joy could stare death in the face
And see it as sweet victory
This is the joy of a soul that's forgiven and free

Anybody else with his pain
Would want to shake their fist at heaven
And give up the fight
'Cause trouble had been Paul's middle name
Ever since he'd been captured by God's blinding light
But just when his hope should be dying
If you listen you'll hear him singing a song

[Chorus 1]

[Chorus 2:]
What kind of joy is this
The Father has promised his children
What kind of joy is this
That Jesus has come to reveal
What kind of joy could give hope in this world
To someone just like you and me
This is the joy of a soul that's forgiven and free
I've found this joy for my soul is forgiven and free

How? How do we do it? How do we handle the difficulties and the separations? How do we handle not seeing or touching or talking for weeks and months on end? And how do we continue to be joyful through it all? Joy is a topic that my husband and I have been talking about for months – since at least March, maybe even longer. It has constantly seemed to creep up into our conversations and emails. There is so much pain in the military - the busy schedules, the separations ranging from 3 months to even up to 18 months at a time in the Army, so I’ve heard, the drinking, the death, the divorce rate, etc. How can we find joy?

Because we are forgiven and free! Because of Jesus! For my husband, ministering within the confines of the military can often be tricky dodging the political correctness, etc. And for many people, those minefields of political correctness are enough reason to high tail it in the other direction. But God constantly brings men and women into his life and through his office doors who are in need of what only Jesus can offer – forgiveness! Not every conversation heads specifically in that direction, but there are constantly seeds being planted whether those men and women realize it or not. And that is a cause for joy!

As for me, I am the wife who gets left behind to hold down the fort and raise four children under the age of eight while being pregnant with number five. Why don’t I turn tail and run? Why don’t I gripe and moan and complain? It’s hard! I have a right to whine, don’t I? But why should I? My husband was gone from mid-August 2010 to early November 2010 – and I moved us from Florida to North Carolina by myself during that time. Then he was in the field for training the last two plus weeks of January 2011. And then he was out in California for more training from the last week of March through the first week of May 2011. And now he’s been gone to Afghanistan since about mid-June. That’s a lot of being gone – can I have a pity party now? No! I am filled with joy and expectation! Has the last fifteen months or so been a piece of cake? No, I have had my bad days or weeks. The initial adjustment to this new normal took several months longer than transitions for me usually do. But this time around I have had a peace about where we are both at in life right now so that I can’t deny God’s hand in it all. I am learning things and being given opportunities to talk with women that I never would have had or taken because of this time in our lives. I am seeing God work in my life and my husband's life and the kids’ lives. I am learning to lean on God. I am learning to ask for and receive help from others! Yet, I am also learning the benefits of having a stubborn and independent spirit, too! Did I mention I am learning to lean on and trust in God? As joy-filled as life has been, it has been some of the most difficult times of life, too, and I have had to learn a level of trust in Him that I haven’t seen the need for previously. Having been severely burned as a child, I am acquainted with pain and grief and loneliness, and though I was able to find a level of joy and trust through that time, it pales in comparison to now. God is faithful! His Word is Truth! I have a lot to learn, yet, in this Christian walk through life, but I wouldn’t trade these difficult times for anything. I can look back on my accident as a child and see growth and protection through that time, and even now through this current time of life I can already see growth and protection. I should be crying and depressed right now, but I am not. I am forgiven and free and held in the arms of my Savior and that is such a joy-filled place to be that I cannot even express it! Honestly, I don’t know that I really understand it. I want to grab it and hold on tight, but it is elusive. It must just be accepted, I guess, with the release of the anxiety of life. Thank you, Jesus!